We had our first encounter with methadone in December 2004. The dr. prescribed it for chronic TMJ. Jonathan had been on it for three days, when I got a call at work from his mom. He was in the ER and they weren’t sure what was going on. I got to the hospital as quick as I could. They in abated him and put him in the ICU, saying he had a bad case of pneumonia. They had sedated him to keep him still, and they would gradually wien him out. I was by his side for three days (missing Christmas with my kids), but they understood I had to be there when he woke up. It was a mess once he woke up. The Drs. Were asking stupid questions that held no relevance. The one dr. wanted to do an HIV test on him and me to see if we had something. They were just grasping at straws. For some reason, the prescribing dr. changed his medication and we didn’t have to deal with methadone anymore.

Fast forward a few months. Jonathan and I had moved into a new home, busy planning his adoption of my first two children. and contemplating a move/career change. I was almost six months pregnant with our first child. Back to the dr. and again he prescribed methadone. Not thinking about the past experience we had, I filled the prescription for him. They gave him a 90 day supply and didn’t ask any questions. I gave him one pill Wed. night when we got home. He had one Thursday morning and then spent the day with his mom. We had bought a used car and he was getting it tagged/insured and such. He called me about 8pm to say he would be on his way home shortly. I waited up for him, and he came in so excited. He grabbed something to eat, and then we went upstairs. I needed to get some sleep as I had to get up for work at 4am, and it was already after midnight. On his way home he had grabbed some junk food from 7-11, and he had something he said he got for me…it looked like something a pregnant woman would eat. Needless to say, I turned him down and he and the two (6 week old) kittens sat on the bed to eat the snack. I remember him turning on Shrek 2 and telling me he loved me and goodnight.

I woke up for work and heard him snoring (differently). I just figured he was very tired and needed his sleep. I went to work and thought nothing more. My oldest daughter (9 at them time) called multiple times to say daddy hadn’t gotten up and sounded funny. I told them to leave him alone and I would be home about 330. When I got home, I cleaned up the mess downstairs, and then made my way upstairs. The previous night Jonathan had been hot, and had turned on two fans. I turned the first one off, and that’s when I hear his breathing. I screamed wake up and called 911. I smacking him/beat him, trying to get some response. The rescue squad showed up and told me to go downstairs. They had to shock him before leaving the house. I called his mom and she came and picked me up and we went to the hospital. They put us in a little room, and told us he was in a coma. They would be transferring him to the ICU shortly. I kept asking questions and no one could/would answer them. Finally they told us he was brain dead and we needed to make arrangements.

We called friends and family, and they came to see him one last time. On August 28th (five days after the first pill) Jonathan David Rushing passed away. It left me not knowing what to do. His parents stopped talking to me for three months and I was left in my own world.

What doesn’t make things easy, is when I called his pain management dr. to inform him of Jonathans passing. Two days later the head nurse called and said when I had time/felt up to it to call her. She gave me her home phone number, and effective that Friday (3 days from then) she was resigning from the drs. office. She quit over I don’t know what. I have never had the nerve to call her.

Thank god the birth of his daughter was coming. On December 28th, I delivered Maryellen Rushing into the arms of many who love her…at the same hospital. It makes the 28th of the month a bit easier. She looks just like her daddy and will know all there is to know about him. I will make sure of that.

God Bless everyone.