On November 22, 2006, my soul went searching for answers to something I never imagined could happen to my family.

My mother was married to my step father, Toby, for 24 years. December 11, 2006 would have been their 25th wedding anniversary. My step father did not have children of his own. My mother was his first and only marriage. Toby did everything for me. He always worried about me and he always came to my rescue when the situation merited his protection. My Christmas gifts were personally chosen by him...my mother was never allowed to take part in the gift selection although, every year, the tag read "Love Mom & Toby". I remember how distraught I was the day of his memorial service because I could not find a chain to go with the diamond heart pendant he gave me for Christmas last year. The original chain broke somewhere between Oklahoma and L.A. during my travel last year and I just never got around to having it repaired. These are such small things to someone who is on the outside looking in. These are small things that are now HUGE because God took him from my life...and not by choice. What will I do, who will be here to protect me? What have I done to deserve this? What can I do to prevent a loss this intense in the future? I don't have the answers but I do know that life goes on. You just have to keep going...along for the ride...because the world doesn't stop just because someone we love is no longer with us on the ride.

February 15, 2007
How nice of the Medical Examiner to finally give my family closure. My mother was informed this morning that my dad's cause of death was from Methadone and Xanax. We told our doctor what was happening. Our doctor slapped dad on the hand and gave him a loaded gun the day before his death. Our doctor filled several prescriptions (Methadone and Xanax included) and sent my dad on his way out the door. My dad was dead the following morning.

February 27, 2007
I have a copy of the autopsy report. It is sickening. The report...well...it told me everything. It told me what he was wearing...what was in his pockets...how long his hair was...his beard...how perfectly trimmed his fingernails and toenails were...how his heart,liver, brain...etc....how they looked...what was in them...it told me that he was refrigerated...how he was cold....blue...the color of his eyes...it told me how my dad died. It told me things that I didn't know...my mother didn't know. The primary diagnoses/cause of death were:

1. Acute combined drug toxicity: methadone, alprazolam

A. Pulmonary edema and congestion; urinary retention
B. Patchy pneumonia, bilateral
C. History of chronic pain; status post cervical spinal fusion

2. Hypertension

A. Cardiomegaly with concentric left ventricular hypertrophy

3. No significant acute injuries

Cause of death: Acute combined drug toxicity; Pneumonia, hypertension

Probable Cause of Death: Acute combined drug toxicity due to Methadone, Alprazolam

Other Significant Medical Conditions: Pneumonia, Hypertension

OPINION: Death of this man is attributed to acute combined drug toxicity. There was also patchy bilateral pneumonia. Hypertension with associated cardiomegaly was another significant condition. The manner of death is classified as accident.

Now while all of this sounds formal and straight forward...what the report should have read was something like this: The death of this man was 100% preventable. Cause of death: Conditions ignored and not treated by his physician. High risk medications prescribed by his physician without periodical screenings to determine the drug levels in his system. We did get the transcribed notes from the doctor’s office and conveniently, the last visit, the day before my dad died, was without the dictation. The hand written "flow sheet" did however read: "Family complaints of non compliance with prescribed medication" and "Counseled patient about non compliance of prescribed medication and informed patient that I will not provide his health care if medication abuse continues".......here's the part that breaks my heart…under the "PLAN" we have: Refill Methadone, Refill Xanax.

I have a goal that is so intense and so clear...I am going to make sure that our former family physician has his medical license taken away and I will even help him pick out his trailer that will be his new home. It's not about the money. It's not about the damn money at all. Money isn't going to bring my dad back. Money isn't going to hear my dad on the other end of the telephone line. Money isn't going to replace the comfort of my dad's bear hugs or his smile, or his laughter...his nature...his presence. Our family physician killed my dad. After reading the autopsy report (20-30 times to date) I find myself wide awake in the middle of EVERY night...wheels spinning in my head...asking over and over and over again...."WHY?"

Angela D. Chapman